Okay, I thought I could avoid this whole “tag” thing. You see, Ron hit me with the dreaded “six things about yourself” tag a couple weeks ago. At the time, I was too busy to respond so I used the convenient excuse that I had been tagged before and that the same six things still applied. Well, in the same post, Ron also tagged Elden, aka Fat Cyclist, who actually did respond. Apparently though, Fatty has the authority to change the rules so instead of listing six random things, he came up with his own list of questions (which he then proceeded to answer). To make a long story short, Fatty then tagged Bike Snob NYC who may or may not have tagged Erik K. That doesn’t really matter because, either way, Erik tagged me. Yeah, I am confused too but the important thing is that the questions are now bike related, so I will do my best to play along.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?

One bike? Are you serious? Man the questions just started and they are already too hard for me to answer. I can’t imagine having just one bike, but I guess if I have to answer (and apparently I do) it would be a cyclocross bike. My cross bike is the most versatile one I own because it can handle trail riding but it is still fast and comfortable on the road. It would work as a pretty good commuter as well, so a cyclocross bike is easily my pick for just one bike. If I could keep two bikes though, I would definitely go with separate road and mountain bikes. Wait, I still want a cross bike too though, and a track bike, and a commuter set up with racks and everything, and a single speed mountain bike, and …well, the list goes on and on.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?

Wait! Who said anything about a dream bike? Yeah, I like nice road, mountain, well… all kinds of bikes, but those aren’t really dream bikes. There may be a lot of bikes on the market that I would really like to have, but if I am talking about a dream bike I should probably aim a lot higher than a currently produced product. Anybody with the cash can shell out 8 or 9 grand for a really nice top of the line road or mountain bike, so a dream bike should be something that takes a bit of effort to find. I am thinking maybe a 1960 Bowden Spacelander or something like that. Of course, as long as I am dreaming, I should go for something even more elusive. I mean; there are like a hundred original Spacelanders out there, so maybe my dream bike should be more one of a kind. How about Baron Von Drais’ original 1816 Swiftwalker? I am pretty sure nobody else would show up at the local group rides with that one. Am I working toward getting it? Yeah, if anyone has an extra Spacelander or an early 19th century Draisine in the garage, can you please send one of them to me?

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?

I don’t know. Man, these questions are getting even harder! Some days it feels like my commute is the only route that I ever ride, but I certainly wouldn’t pick it to ride everyday for the rest of my life. I would want a lightly traveled route somewhere in the mountains I suppose, but I don’t really have a specific one in mind. There are a lot of great road rides near me- Caesars Head, Saluda, the Blue Ridge Parkway, etc. I just like to get out and explore, so any of those long mountain loops would do. Wait, would I be on the Spacelander, because those heavy fiberglass frames weren’t designed for serious climbing? And I don’t want to even think about pushing my way up a 20 percent grade on a 200-year-old hobbyhorse with wooden wheels. Maybe I should revisit the dream bike question.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to do for the rest of her / his life?

What kind of sick person would make someone else answer all these questions? …and I am only halfway through.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrowminded?

Hey, I already said that I ride all kinds of bikes. I like both road and mountain but I would have to give a slight edge to road riding. Well, I guess it depends. Sometimes I like mountain biking more. I guess I go through phases, so ask again later and you will get a different answer.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.

Yeah, I have ridden a recumbent. I like to try out all kinds of pedal powered machines. Haven’t I already established that? I have even ridden a recumbent tricycle. A guy I knew in college had one and that thing was pretty fun to ride. It would skid in the gravel of his driveway like an overgrown Green Machine. I would really like to try out a full fairing HPV someday too. I have never ridden one, but they certainly interest me.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?

No and no. Swimming would be my weak point in a triathlon. Well, that and the running.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?

I would have to give up ice cream because I have already committed to riding that same route over and over on an antique bike? Where is the consistency in this line of questioning?

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.

Which is the worse trend; stunt riding on track bikes, or velodrome racing on BMX bikes with tuff wheels and pegs? Oh wait, the latter is not a trend… yet.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?

Um, sprint faster than whoever is riding with me. Actually though, I would love to see a bear while out on a ride. I have seen a few black bears while hiking in the Smokies, but I have never seen one on a bike ride. I did come really close to hitting a deer on a fast descent once. My heart rate monitor started beeping like crazy after that big buck ran across the road just a few feet in front of me, so I think I’d much rather take my chances with a bear.

Now, tag three biking bloggers. List them below.

Just three? No way! Misery loves company. All right, whom should I burden next with these silly questions. I guess I will go with Robb, Fritz, and Carlton. I’ll throw in Tim too, but only if he is able to answer all the questions without once typing the word Masi (by the way, I know that is impossible). While I am picking on industry folks, I’ll tag Trek, Felt, and Raleigh as well. Finally, since this whole tag game has morphed into something new and bike related, I’ll go ahead and send the questions right back to Ron. That’s what you get for tagging me in the first place.

Have a good weekend everyone.